


ten musical interludes

by cosmogyral



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crossover, F/M, Gen, Meme, Nakama, Noncanonical Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-25
Updated: 2010-05-25
Packaged: 2017-10-09 17:23:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/89832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmogyral/pseuds/cosmogyral
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That iPod shuffle meme for Homestuck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	ten musical interludes

1\. **Aladdin's Word** \-- Aladdin Soundtrack

"Oh jesus, are we really doing this? We're really doing this. This is really your idea of a good time." Dave flops down on the sofa next to John. "Look, I'm not taking off my sweet shades, but I just want you to know: my eyes are closed under here."

Rose, without moving any unnecessary muscles, slaps a hand firmly over Dave's mouth. "My apologies, John," she says. "He doesn't understand the majesty and beauty of Aladdin."

2\. **Thus saith my Cloris bright** \-- Amherst College Madrigal Singers

The church, it turns out, is real. They find it a week later. The stained glass really does make patterns break and form on the floor as the sun passes overhead, and Jade really does look at rest in it. She stops smiling, the kind of stillness that comes over her when she runs out of energy and exclamation points and is left only with silent applause. Dave watches her run her fingers through the water of the communion fount.

3\. **Gyroscope** \-- The Tea Party

"You don't get it," Spades Slick says, watching Droog wriggle his arm frantically, trying to pry it loose from the lance. "You think this is a fucking joke? You don't touch her."

"Two-faced bitch, I thought what's the harm," Droog says. He strains at the pull. "You didn't use to give a shit, boss. Let me out and stitch me the fuck up."

Slick turns away and ignores the whining. Droog'll pull himself loose eventually. Or he'll lose the arm. Either way, he'll learn not to shoot when he's not wanted.

4\. **2 Become 1** \-- Spice Girls

She kisses him, sparkles exploding around the deck as the distinguished gentleman pilots their ship through the beautiful light of nighttime.

"Okay, that is just wrong," says a kid, and she yanks herself back. He's appeared on the prow unexpectedly, his hands on two turntables. With his shades and his cheap gear he's practically a tiny clone of her brother. "It's like, what is this, a singles cruise. We're trying to save the world here and the only two people who aren't related to each other--"

"--or possibly each other--" her daughter adds, stepping out from behind him.

"Or clones of each other, yeah," he says, nodding, "are macking on each other."

"It must be the romantic atmosphere," Rose says, dryly. "I certainly know I would dive straight for the nearest available male in the event that I was fighting for my life against a malevolent game god."

"In case you're a clone of John or Jade or John and Jade," Dave informs John's dad, "that was irony."

5\. **Spanish Web** \-- Mirrormask soundtrack

She wiggles her fingers invitingly. He stares at her. "Um, I don't really know any troll dances," he says. "Also, uh, aren't you blind?"

"Yeah yeah yeah," she says. Laughs. Whatever, it's always laughing. "Come on, John. I learned the human tango. It's fun."

"Okay I definitely don't know the human tango," he protests, backing up against the computer desk. "Also it's kind of -- really personal?" he finishes, on a squeak, because she's advancing on him with singular purpose, with an alien rose in her teeth.

6\. **16 Track 16,** DJ CLOS

He spins the tables--

"Yeah, no," Bro says, and takes one of his Oreos, "nice try, but I can still kick your ass, so suit the fuck up" --

and again --

"--and I can still kick your ass when there are twenty of you--"

fast-forwards, record scratches, leaves a skipping pattern in the track of time--

"I can still kick,"

"I can still,"

"I'm still kicking,"

and his Denizen's down, his loop closing up and popping out of paradox space.

Dave picks up the hat. He spins the tables.

7\. **Why,** Andrew Bird

cG: GODDAMMIT WOULD YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME  
tG: yeah sure bro  
tG: im riveted  
tG: i woke up this morning thinking you know what would taste sweet with these cheerios some alien insults that sound a lot like human insults  
cG: NO FOR CHRIST'S SAKE  
cG: YOU KNOW YOU'D THINK YOU'D EVEN BE A LITTLE ANGRY  
cG: IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T APPRECIATE THE BITTER MAGNITUDE OF YOUR OWN FAILURE, BECAUSE SERIOUSLY JESUS IT IS VAST  
cG: YOU ARE THE EMBODIMENT OF FAILURE IF FAILURE WAS A WHALE  
tG: wow was that a fat joke  
tG: you sure got me bro  
tG: im a wreck here crying all over the place  
tG: like a whole salty ocean for my whale self  
cG: ARRRGHHHH FINE, YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK JOHN'S STUPID IDEA  
cG: YOUR CHEAT CODE IS GO FUCK YOURSELF  
tG: okay seriously what are you talking about  
\-- carcinoGeneticist has stopped trolling turntechGodhead at 04:13 --

8\. **Goodies**, Ciara feat. Petey Pablo

"What," he says, flatly. "What. What is this that you're doing."

"Fuck yeah!" says aT. He pops and locks some more, then goes down for a headspin, which turns out to be a bad idea when his horns get snared in a wheely chair's leg.

"What's going on?" gC asks, leaning one wheely chair over. She screws up her face. "What are these noises? They smell like lemons dying."

"That Egbert kid sent them over," aT says, sitting up. "They're sick human beats!"

"Okay, let me be clear about this," cG says, massaging the base of his horns. "In a second you're going to be like 'This was ironic,' and we're all going to know you're really into this, and I'm going to want to kill myself even more than I did when I found out we're all going to die, and you're telling me that it's _all that Egbert kid's fault?_"

"Uh, you really need to calm down," aT says. "I was just kidding. Ha ha ha! What, this is stupid music for stupid kids!"

"Yeah, I'm trolling the fuck out of him," says cG, and kicks out a chair.

9\. **The Bargain**, Les Miserables soundtrack

"Please," gasps the handsome detective, clutching at her dress with spindly hands as he bleeds out on the bakery floor. "Please. Raise my son."

Nanna wipes tears from her eyes. "Of course," she says, gathering the child against her chest. "He'll have the best care a forty-year-old bakery urchin can offer."

"Thank you," the detective says, his eyes closing. "One last thing..."

"Anything!"

"Don't..." the detective wheezes, the death rattle in his voice. "Don't let him grow up... to be Batman..."

10\. **Headsoak,** Andrew Bird.

Jade uses her Tangle Buddies quilt to make the sail, and a needle from the alchemiter index as the mast, because she feels like Rose'd appreciate it. She sails for three days, her skin tanning and her hair going even darker, and Catzilla plays lookout and watches for the imaginary sharks.

On the third day, just as she runs out of provisions, she comes to the edge of the whirlpool, and anchors the raft against the pull. "It's now or never, Catzilla," she says. "You ready?"

The kitten mewls and blinks all four eyes.

"Me too," she says. She stretches up on her toes, limbers up. She takes a few steps back. She waves cheerily at Dave's invisible monitor. Then she dives.


End file.
